I love Broadway!!

This is Wicked! i havent had the opportunity to see it yet but i have heard soooo many good things about it and i cant wait to find the time!


Lion King - gives me goosebumps! absolute best broadway show i have been too - makes me so PROUD to be African - Rafiki was played by a south african lady who did such a GREAT job as you would see in this intro!

Last but not the least is the original dreamgirls performance featuring jennifer holiday! the Intensity and the emotion she conveys is soooo "shivers' - homeboy should PLEASE STAY, i mean damn!

August Rush

Sigh*

After foolishly realising that the anatomy quiz on monday that we were killing ourselves studying for was actuallly postponed to the upper week monday....????...... We...

Pause*

I digress >So annoying, all that guilt that i hadn't studied enough ...FOR NOTHING!.. its all my fault anyway, i stabbed Anatomy the day of the announcement because i was doing a project i thought was due that day but turned out to be due in mid december...???.....I suck at schedules, i literally have people text me the night before the exam to remind me what time it starts...its so ridiculous, i believe my worst experience with that was when i walked into an examination hall at 11pm on the dot... 24 hours after the examination was taken lol......it didnt seem that funny back then!....OR when joan and I woke up at 8AM....and the exam started at 8AM!......got A's in both classes! woohoo!.....when i get richer i am definitely getting me an assistant!.....

Play*

......We decided to throw down our laptops, and walk down to our neigbourhood movie theatre and go see two movies in a row....of course....whilst paying for one.....of course......lol...
First we saw"This Christmas"...it was good, had my no 1 chic i would mess with if i went lesbo LAUREN LONDON, my boyfriend from STOMP the yard, my new cutie Chris Brown, I loved it!....i laughed, i cursed (black boy/oyibo girlfriend...hiss), i cried too, cus i am stupid like that......
Then next, we saw...... August rush....... and I have to please ask anyone who reads this blog to do me a big favor - If you can, please go see August Rush, it is Officially the most BEAUTIFUL MOVIE i have ever watched recently. It was Inspirational, Awe inspiring, Emotional, I was literallly floooreeed, I = Joan and I....cried, prayed, EVERYTHING, i know i am exaggerating but damn, my heart is so BIG right now, I LOVE EVERYBODY!!!, GOOD EXISTS!! JESUS I LOVE YOU!, i am soooo not bitchy or sarcastic or mean right now, i just feel pure! SIGH*...i dont want to give away the plot.. but...all i can say is some people are blessed... some people are so talented... and God really is present in Music, thats what i think....sigh*
I cried die...joan and I, like a pair of psychos! embarassed myself too, clapping loudly at the end.....sigh*...i am so emotional right now:)....

SOB*

Had a nice thankgiving, incase you are wondering! Had my favourite fashionable cousin from France "Perry" and my bro come in from outta town annd my fave chica's Abby and Ozzy were here too, sigh* good times! shopping, gossip/insults and cocktails!AngerballZ lol.
Am i the only one who has to get it crunk at home before hitting the lounge/club/party?... nightlife bores the hell out of me! i need to see things in a tipsy blur to have fun!...damn..i am getting old lol... i will be back with more deets! Off to get some sleep!

Cranberry kisses!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Its thursday, almost friday, No work, better still.. NO SCHOOL!! WOOHOO!!! thats almost enough reason to give thanks!!!!lol, But still.... today is the day we should all collectively take a moment to THANK GOD for all his blessings, because we are all here today and Hopefully all in good health, so THANK YOU GOD!!!!

On a more negative note lol, this holiday get K-leg!!, how did it really originate? WHAT are we REALLY celebrating?! the GENOCIDE of red indians???? how barbaric!!! So to the red indians whose land we took, cus THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND! I am sorry, you were here first...oops!..give...thanks!...for umm.... states like oklahoma and arizona??... that are still chuckfull of your people...umm i know its like only two states?!....which must be hard cus you owned like...ALL?!...but really dont be greedy..be grateful! ............lol I KEED!!...Red Indians i got your back!

*MY rather shallow "Give Thanks"very short list*
So i have a slight obsession with Phylicia Allen, aka Phylicia Rashad known to most as "Claire Huxtable"...because... she exudes the class, elegance and subtle glamour that i yearn to possess ...someday.

I think she really changed television..because... after her debut as Mrs Huxtable, most of the other comedians sought really attractive, classy wives as their partners on screen as compared to the overweight LOUD black women that were supposedly the image of a "black wife"


( Which is ONE of the MANY REASONS i hate Tyler perry's new show, LIFE WITH PAYNE - Thanks for bringing back the jolly, overweight mammy image!)

DISCLAIMER-There is absolutely nothing wrong with loud, overweight black women ...IN REAL LIFE!, but in comparison to the leading caucasian ladies on TV (>insert the brady's mom, i dream of genie chic and the bewitched lady) the black leading woman on tv were purposely portrayed in that "MAMMY" light..hiss.

SO THANKS Phylicia for breaking the barriers and proving that WE ARE PRETTY, ELEGANT and CLASSY !

- I give thanks to those People who are unfazed by beyonce in a way that is not murderous or vicious, those people who could care either way about her existence, who dont have to PURPOSELY piss me off by angrily insulting her..they dont have to...because they dont give a SHIT, which i can Understand, its not by force to like her! I give thanks to those people, because as a BSTAN, i am SICK of fighting with psychos, if you dont like her, hell! turn off the tv,or radio! just turn it off!

And Beyonce, MY QUEEN! thank you for being you, I LOVE YOU!!..you sob*...complete me!!!!! lol...I am praying that you will continuously succeed , dont worry, as a person who has encountered her own fair share of haters, YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT! be worried if you have none!...my advice to you sweetie, is to MAKE as much money as you can now, people might die of seeing you too much(I WONT!), BUT make it will you can!, product placements, tours, phones, SELL YOURSELF!! Money is sweet, MAKE IT!, who cares what anyone else thinks!Dont mind everyone else, they are just ugly!(how can you hate someone you dont know?! beats me!)love you! MUAH*!

- Thanks to MGM classics for creating all the feature films i love(seven brides for seven brothers, king and I, My fair lady) its a hot shame that the quality of movies produced in the 40s and 50s are still better than our Nigerian movies of today...

To be quite fair, we Nigerians are undoubtedly more interested in being Doctors and Engineers than actually learning about the movie industry, hence, the bad actors, open shameless shelling in our scripts (if we have any at all, i really believe we freestyle), obvious mistakes, and the issues of passerby's openly gawking in the background...???....all in all, i Love Nigerian movies! BUT as a former victim of "intense countryman shame" i cant help but be harsh about our movies.

I took a class in my senior year which involved watching movies from different countries and dissecting them, in terms of story, acting ...all that, I MUST say that whilst watching the Nigerian movie(which i would have normally enjoyed), I sat cringing in my seat from start to finish, just KNOWING it was about to be a BLOODBATH, the way the other students FINISHED IT EH! i was WEAK!, tore it apart, laughed hilariously! it was A MESS!! I had no WORDS! ...SO please NO thanks to Nigerian movies...lets aim to do better.

*I also thank the leaves for being our first fashion statement, Julia Roberts for pretty woman and Mark Zuckerberg for Facebook! ALL in ALL, my list draws to an end as the sweet smell of food cooked by SOMEONE else (thank you MUM!) seduces my nostrils!

Have a great thanksgiving! and THANK YOU FOR VISITING OUR BLOG!!

Cranberry kisses***

YAHOO!

**********
The National Lottery
PO Box 1010
Liverpool L70 1NL United Kingdom.
Ref: XYL /26510460037/05
Batch: 24/00319/IPD

WINNING NOTIFICATION

We happily announce to you the Draw (#1147) of the UK NATIONAL
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To file for your claim, please contact your fudiciary agent
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EMAIL: ukverificationofficerjames02@yahoo.ie
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***********

For many years, we have been dragged from institution to institution in search of higher education, with the assumption that after all that toiling we would eventually be able to use this education to provide a stable future for ourselves. Memories as early as learning to write, to using Queen premiere to learn to read, to primary 4 when i was "mature" enough to write with a BIRO for once, to failing an English exam in pry 5 because I couldnt see before my parents finally agreed to have my eyes checked and discovered that I had -5 vision (short sighted).sigh...to vicious Queens college and then the more demure Lagoon, to going to O-level exams to scope boys, to avoiding A levels by any means necessary hence my arrival in America, to killing myself as a Biochemistry turned Business turned Biology (vicious orders from above) turned Bio-Anthro major, PHEW and now to a fashion design major.

ALL THAT IS NO MORE!

This is just to announce my retirement from Cranberry and subsequent dropping out of school as I have stumbled upon on my fortune in the sum of f £1,532,720 (OneMillion, Five Hundred And Thirty Two Thousand, Seven Hundred And Twenty Pounds Sterling) in cash. (that i will be picking up in person, from the office annex)

I dont know ANYBODY and from henceforth can no longer be contacted. (Joan and Doreen ive changed my number and deleted my email adress and facebook page, sorry it had to end like this, but you know the child that rides on its mothers back does not know how far the journey is.)


*************

WedoDrama!

Soooo...i caught the last part of the best man like 2 days ago...you know the part where they are at the wedding and he starts bawling when he is saying his vows...yes that part. First of all...Morris Chestnut looked soooo damn good in that movie......I hope my husband can look like that on my wedding day... sigh!

*off to say a prayer*

Anyway...that got me thinking about weddings. I know it is on most of your minds...it really shouldn't be on mine but since my family and friends have decided that this is wedding season..i have no option ya know! I cannot count the no. of weddings that have gone down this past yr and those that are coming up next yr...(im so happy for you ladies! you know yourselves!) Anyway, weddings are sooo stressful...migosh...I need to get a wedding planner for mine because I honestly don't think I can handle all of that stress. Call me crazy but I have also decided the color of my bridesmaids dresses...I'm thinking Languid Lavender or something...I think it compliments our skin tone. You know there are a lot of things that have to be put into consideration when planning a wedding. Apart from the location...which has to be uhh fabulous....the wedding party has got to look really good...which is the reason why i have decided to put out an age limit for my bridesmaids...so if you are above a certain age..and unless you are halle berry..you just arent going to make it...sorry! But seriously though, I really am not one of those people that want their bridesmaids to be looking busted so that they can shine or whatever. I mean like pictures are going to be taken and we can't have busted pics can we?

(courtesy: etiquettehell)

They left me shocked and appalled!

Ok so enough on the bridesmaids..lets talk about the BRIDE!!!

First of all I would like to focus on those brides that decide to look busted on the big day. I mean, it is damn near baffling. I just don’t understand why this happens and I have seen it happen one time too many. I always thought that your wedding day was supposed to be the most special day of your life ..a day you want to remember forever…a day that you should be looking the best you have ever looked. I mean for goodness sake..it is your last day as a single lady and your first day as a married lady so for that reason you have to be looking your best…NOT BUSTED! I don’t know whether I am vain…(maybe I am..lol) but I really feel that you have to do all you can to look damn good. Get in shape, get your hair done, get a makeup artist…I repeat GET A MAKEUP ARTIST (one that knows what she’s doing preferably), PAMPER YOURSELF, Make sure your dress is magical (and that it fits you and compliments your body type). I mean, people need to be confused. I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this but I have been to people’s weddings and complimented the bride thinking to myself, “What was she thinking???” I mean why in this world does she look like she just got up one morning, decided to wear a white dress and, packed her hair into a pony tail and hustled her way to a church? Makes no sense to me at all.
Anywayy… I am putting pictures of my sisters wedding and my cousin’s wedding because call me biased but I think they look very good. I don’t have too many examples because I don’t know so many married people (I’m young..and my friends haven’t decided to start marrying just yet..haha) Unfortunately, I won’t be adding any examples of umm..harsh brides…just because I’m not that mean.

You know, I think all brides are beautiful..don’t get me wrong…its just that some are beautiful in their own haphazardly way that I am STILL yet to get…teehee!!!

my sister and her sisters on her big day!

she looks gorgeous!

my cousin..looking radiant!

RANDOM 2.14AM RANT

You know what? I dont like oyinbo people. Because the truth is, I dont trust any of them and I just think they are a patronizing bunch of idiots.
Scene 1
Us standing outside, trying to get a cab (in NY city...another cab story later). A bunch of oyinbo people pull up at the stop light (just incase any of my oyinbo *friends* read this blog one day..). The guy starts yelling something about backseat drivers.
Blank stare. Its freezing, we are in high heels and light jackets and not in the mood for this stupid behavior.
Guy tries to engage us again. Yeah, the thing about backseat drivers yadiyadiyada...
Blank Stare.
"CHARLIE MURPHY!!!!!" and they all start laughing and drive off.

??????

Does the color of my skin stamp a "fool" on my forehead or something. Am i supposed to smile because you say the name of a black man to me, either 1. amused that you know the name of a black person (like ure not freaking living in this country, WHY do people always find it amusing when oyinbos know a piece of black trivia like theyre not meant to know???) or 2. supposed to crack a smile and be like yeaaaaaaaaaah hes down!!!!!

Scenario 2.
My friends and I catchin a cab to go home to our seperate, ON THE WAY destinations
To cab driver: We're goin to X first, then Y next then Z
Cab driver: NO no im making only ONE stop
Us: HUH?! we all live in different places, and its not like one is in brooklyn and the other one is in queens, its all in manhattan and its on the way
Cab driver: no, only makin one stop
Us, beginning to get heated, like ok then we need to catch another cab
Cab driver: See why we dont like picking "YOU GUYS" up.
*crickets*
Nuff said

Seriously.

I watch MTV, i watch VH1, whether or not i am interested in an actor, the music, the show, the anything, i ALWAYS know who people are because i know what is goin on in the world around me. Yet there will be some oyinbo woman or man who has no idea who Pdiddy is, and yes i do think that is ridiculous, how can u be so immersed in your own race that you have no idea who other people are or even something simple as WEAVE. OKAY, now why dont they ever realize that people wear weaves? Im sorry but in this day and age, you cannot be that stupid to seriously ask me "Oh my God your hairs grown, how did it grow so fast?". They are so UNINTERESTED in other races that they have NO IDEA what goes on.

WHY OH WHY do oyinbo people like to tell me if some hip hop song is their favorite song or they know it or something. My roomates only listen to oyinbo music i have never heard of, yet on my birthday they had to play "Go shawty, its your birthday" 50 cent for me..WHY i dont even like 50 cent!!!!!!!!

WHy are oyinbo girls automatically finer than black girls, NO MATTER WHAT...its such a shame that black girls seem to have the shorter end of the stick cos apparently now ure cool as a black boy if you only kick it with foreign chicks. How can i go to a lounge (okay its NY we're talkin about they are crazy here) and theyll say we're only letting 6 in! to a group of black chicks, lol, is that the quota for the night or what?

Im sick and tired of being a "token", my friends and i the only black chicks in the spot, the only black intern, one of the 5 blacks in school, its just so annoying cos poeple are SO patronizing. When a hip hop song comes up in a club and some stupid blonde girl tells you to show her the dance...LOL thats when i begin to fight you know white chicks scare easy!

Someone needs to tell me where the black proffesionals party at, cos im sick of going to these stupid "premiere" lounges, where the bouncer thinks hes doing you a favor by letting you in and some stupid oyinbos want you to come and be the token blacks on their table or something!!!!!

But lastly I have to tell you about a plane ride that i will never forget when i ended up getting sat in between some 2 blonde middle aged women, one who was a dermatologist and the other who kept tryin to feed me.
She grabs my hair (my silky long black weave)
"Wow!! how do you get your hair to be like that? My daughter spends ageeees straightening her hair, you black people are so lucky you always have long bone straight hair" Me: er, okay, take your hand out of my locks please before you pull one out.
Next, she pulls out a picture of her daughter and proceeds to tell me how beautiful and popular her daughter is and bla bla.
Okay.
Next. "wow, you know the one thing i admire about black people? Your skin!! i always say i can never tell a black womans age you know. You guys have such great skin, white people age too quickly." Okay, em, thanks.
.."Did you watch the oscars? yes there was some rap group that performed there, i was really shocked at the oscars i dont really like that kind of music..what is it called? pop pop? hip pop? Wow, if i were black i wouldnt want those people representing my race!! and they won an oscar too. Singing something about a pimp or the other" I guess this is when 36 mafia won their oscar. Yes ma'am.
" haha you know whats funny? My niece just recently got married to a black man!!! yes i remember she cried and cried because she wasnt sure how her baby was going to look, and she wanted her little girl to have blue eyes. I laughed and told her not to be silly. How was her baby going to have blue eyes?? I wasnt even sure how light the baby was going to be, why her husband was as DARK AS YOU!!" Oh no! shock shock horror! My eyes remained widened for most of the flight, and if i got on that flight with any illusions, by the time that plane landed if i wasnt sure about anything in my life, i knew one thing for a fact:
NIGGA YOUZ BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a rather worried note..

Children these days scare me, I get so worried all the time, the world is just changing, its very scary.
I just watched Tyra and the topic was about Parents speaking to their kids about sex, and I just realized how important a topic it is. Being Nigerian I know my parents didn’t talk to me about nothing, infact I would have killed myself if my mother or father made any such moves. I cannot even relegate this topic to only American teenagers because Nigerian kids these days are running wild.
Sometimes I feel matronly with my opinions but its just the daggone truth, why are these kids in such a rush?

In high school I definitely experienced all that sex pressure being a "babe" and all lol, but please my self esteem was so high that I knew no idiot, in the words of kanye, could tell me NOTHING! and that’s what these kids LACK, its all a matter of having a strong sense of self and being strong enough to say NO if the pressure arises. These young adults are so afraid that’ so so so and so boy would dump them if they don’t have sex, which unfortunately is the truth lol. Step your game up and realise you can do better than that douchebag!

I dated a boy once in high school who was extremely HOT and popular(that’s so important in high school YEECH!) and he was like 2 yrs older than me, and I likkkkkkked him more than I liked any other boy I had ever dated, infact he was the first dude I ever kissed aww, I liked him die and we had been dating him on and off for a coupla years (whilst dating my steady boyfriend lol..yeah boo i cheated on you) and he gave me this really *special*, going away present, which you could also call an ultimatum... the eve of my journey to yanks for school.
hmmm... let me see...How did he phrase it again?

Sexy Stupid Ex, " We have been dating for blah blah blah years and we haven’t had sex, Doreen, its obvious you don’t like me, if you liked me you would have sex with me tonight before you leave, I have been patient with you, and I just think "dramatic pause" that its unfair to me and I want to be your first, and if I cant then I don’t want to be with you?"….

>insert my stunned silence….like really??, how wonderful for you!...

so I replied politely "fuck you and have a great day" and left….

Several ignored phone calls, and emails later I decided to accept his stupid ass apology. STUPID!

I think I was grounded cause of my older sisters who were so cool and wise and wicked, after being privy to their jist which mostly comprised of dissing stupid loose girls in their sets I just knew I couldn’t be stupid too. True talk. I knew people whose older sisters had very stank reputations and like clock work they turned out skank, that’s mostly the way the story goes, then again you could be the hot potato in your family and get attention from boys and go crazy. Endless Scenarios.

In high school I was invited to share in nasty gossip and I remember wondering why everyone felt the need to top each others raunchy gossip, what is this pressure? What is this need to appear cool to your peers? Its was so annoying then and its still annoying today -You know who you are! please stop telling me your nasty lil jist, keep it between you and baby, or boo boo. I DONT CARE to imagine your boyfriend in the throes of passion, unless you are dating will demps, then we could both probably describe him in his threos okayyyyyyyyyyyy! (yup! that means we would be secret lovers, for those who are slow)..

Last summer out of the goodness of my heart and brokenness of my pockets I decided to intern in a good will company as a counselor for young adults from low income families.
PAUSE **
Let me just say, THAT, it was a very very horrible and difficult experience for the shallow Doreen, but that’s a story for another day lol.
PLAY**
Anyway, It was so hard to get through to these teenagers because they had experienced so much, Insert > crack head momsis and baby daddies in jail, OH MY!
Luckily/ unluckily for me, I was also their dance instructor for their end of year program (which was hot, I am so talented someone give me a star!) –
Naturally when you work with people...sorry... Yell at people, which is what usually happens when you are a dance coordinator, you become buddies, the young ladies felt comfortable telling me EVERYTHING... see jist... MI GAWD I was practically a new born baby in their midst. These kids were ranging from 11 – 16 and they were so wise sexually! A couple of them hadn’t had sex ..but... the SHAME in which the admitted it and the way the other girls laughed at them, which prompted them to quickly say "oh but I have definitely had oral sex" to try and tone down their virgin status, made me realize that the world needs to just hurry up and end because things are just getting WORST (and I said worst on purpose k). When it becomes a stigma for 14 year old girls to still be virgins, you know things are getting rather ridiculous. damn.

All in all, I tried to make them realize that its okay to wait, chill, stop rushing , stop letting boys do whatever and leave them hanging, stop, at least till you are 16 – who am I kidding – 18! - I mean I tried to talk to these kids but I knew noone was listening.
These children were already so tainted by their life experiences that I just knew nothing I said would stick, they have heard it all before from other counselors, life is not a Disney movie and I could not be the heroic counselor who saved them from getting pregnant at 15.

I Think young adults are so vulnerable and they just desperately want to connect with someone. They want to be in the so called "IN- CROWD", they want the cool boy to like them, and they are willing to walk in shoes bigger than their feet. sad. To think how Akward(i cannot spell this word so dont judge me) teenage young boys are, its funny that they have so much POWER over these young ladies - infact thinking about it, teenage boys know how to give SINCERE raps men, they chase you, with tears in their eyes lol and their daddies money in their wallet...eya so cute!

On a very perplexed note, I have no idea where I am going to raise my kids, America preaches freedom of expression, which is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, you shall DO AS I SAY, as far as i am concerned, Oh hell nah!... I hate peer pressure, I really don’t want any stupid"free thinking" friend trying to influence my kids because I will fuck that friend up lol!..

I love how my parents raised me, I just always felt ...invincible, no peer pressure, no nothing, people say I am arrogant but I am just extra – confident, and I think it’s a blessing, one thing I know For sure is, If i raise my kids in lagos, I am not sending my children to Vivian fowler.! Yes I am a hater LOL, VF girls I am sorry… but your school breeds hoes! HAHAHAH!...i keed...very slightly( AND NO, A VF GIRL DID NOT STEAL MY BOYFRIEND lol.)

On an ending note, hold a conversation with your younger sister, your niece or your future daughter. It is very important to raise your children with a high self esteem and with a mind of her own. The ability to make the right decision is the most empowering trait a woman could have.

Whew* shortest blog i ever wrote lol!

Cranberry Kisses***!