Thursday, December 27, 2007

Merry New Yr and Happy Christmas!!!

Hey guys!!

Hope Christmas was as fun for you all as it was for me. Anyway…New Year’s is around the corner and I cannot wait to meet up with my girlies again in New York. Gosh I cannot believe how fast this year went by…I mean I remember new year’s day as if it was just yesterday...sheeshh! I know I’m not the only person that feels this way!

Anyway…I was having this conversation with my Nigerian male friends recently about the kind of girls they thought were cute and obviously a huge argument started. However, it wasn’t so much of us arguing about the girls they thought were cute..I mean I have heard it one too many times that non-black chics are hotter than black chics...I have come to accept that the world thinks this way and even though I beg to differ, I am just one person. Yeah anyway…the argument started when we decided to tell these dudes that white guys were just as hot as your average black men…partly to push their buttons of course. I’m not even going to go into the drama that took place but yeah..there was drama…a whole lotta!

Seriously though, I am always confused when I feel vicious angry stares from black dudes whenever I am on a date with someone that is not black…like aren’t we as black women allowed to date other races or are we designated to only date men from our own race? I mean I remember hanging out with my male model friend in NYC (who I guess unfortunately for me happened to be a white guy) and being barraged by black dudes everywhere we went to. Dudes trying to constantly downplay the dude…talking about how white dudes can’t dance, how I needed to be with a reeeaaaaal man...hmmm….okkk. I think the worst comment I heard so far was that black girls like white dudes because of their money. KAI! Well, I guess we are prostitutes then. I mean, like honey it is not that serious though….I like fine boys period…black, white, Spanish, Asian….if you are fine I like you…I don’t discriminate. I just do not understand why my being with a white dude who is not any richer than any of the black dudes I date is a way of trying to uhh…get money. Maybe someone can explain it to me because I am just not getting it.

On the record….I do not feel anyhow about black guys dating non-black chics…I mean damn….like every single uncle of mine is married to some European woman and living somewhere in Europe…the only thing that affects me is when people don’t appreciate beauty in everyone and only see a certain race as more beautiful than the other. It is irritating as hell dammit.

Phew…finished with that! Okkk...saw the Great debaters on Christmas day and I must say that it is an awesome movie. I am so proud of all the people that were in it because they all did a great job. I cried once…it was too much for me…had to shed a few tears for the oppressed. I hope all these young children watch these movie and see and understand what their ancestors did for them. As Denzel’s character in the movie (Melvin Tolson) says, "I'm here to help you find and keep your righteous mind."

I was really impressed with Jurnee Smollett in the movie. Chic can act and it doesn’t hurt that she is cute. I have been following her since Full House….I even used to watch her during Cadbury breakfast Television on her show (with her 101 siblings) On Our own. Loved her in Eve’s bayou (loved Meagan Good there too) and then she kinda fizzled out. Till I saw her again in Roll Bounce I think with Bow wow and then here she is acting with Denzel. I wish her the best of luck and I hope she makes it big because she is an amazing actress!

back when she was a lil babay!

now she' s all grown up!

If you like watching movies as much as I do, here are some nice picks for you!

*Milk Money

*Trading Places

*Little Manhattan

Cranberry Kisses!

Lets go shopping!

To honestly tell you the truth, the last time i went REALLY shopping...was...


when i say Really shopping i mean buying clothes uncontrollably for 5 hours straight till i end up with a huge migraine, i actually have to carry painkillers with me on shopping sprees because it gets really painful around the 4th hour and i am actually not joking!


...... like last year summer...very disturbing considering that i am a diagnosed shopaholic ...unfortunately, being an unemployed so to speak TAILOR has curbed my instead of going out to buy clothes i make em or revamp vintage outfits and thus the sweettt rush of attaining new fresh numbers has been ignored..... and damnit i miss it.


I have never been a shoe person...ever....its like i am really attracted to very expensive shoes and truth be told if i cant get those due to the sheer brokesness of MY bank.... i am not arsed to get any other shoes :( has to be a certain shape, color, design(( i like weird shoes)...and i am just never satisfied with just any other when i do get shoes...i buy vintage, i have this DVF shoes i love, got it at a vintage store in philadelphia(Retrospect on south street), it was sooo hot! WAS instead of IS because it is now dead...unfortunately the strap came off -typical vintage lol.... and this ankle boots from buffalo exchange in Houston last soft leather..absolutely gorgeous...its all in the shape babes!....i also dig urban outfitters and miss sixty shoes...err and Zara sometimes..and TARGET!..ok maybe not so much for shoes but i love target...its like Disney land to me..only God knows why?? much stuff!...i love stuff!

So i pick stuff here and there when i have something of importance to attend, but i haven't really shopped like i NNNEEEEED TO...wait hold UP!... i don't understand is how a person could have a job with a steady paycheck of over 3000 dollars every two weeks...okay even about 1500 and still have a tacky ass wardrobe its so annoying...i just think people really don't choose the right stores to buy clothes from...its like....if you can afford BEBE why shop at LVLX?....or at least shop at forever 21! - I am digressing here...but i and my sister, Joan visited forever 21 today, frankly i gave up on that store a long time ago but going in today i was pleasantly SURPRISED, i mean it has so much potential, i saw things i liked, wanted to buy and bought sef and so on and so forth, but the problem with forever 21 is in their presentation! granted H&M has more clout than Forever 21 but 21 actually has more clothes! but the poor way the mannequins were dressed plus the haphazard arrangement of the clothes turns people least it does me...its like war going into that store plus you are a 100% positive that someone is wearing your ish at that party tonight! same thing with H&M but i still love H&M, regardless :)...i wish they could hire me to dress those damn mannequins!..i would do it for free sef.......

Back to my bitchin' - Arden B exists, Express, limited (is there still one), banana republic, Benetton, Fcuk, shit Jcrew!...if i see one more working girl with a jacked up closet i am going to scream!!!....shame on you!...Money is meant to be spent on first please!....then the rent and the carnote...i keed lol.....

"some can shop but have no money, some have money but cannot shop, some have money and can also shop...damn those lucky bastards"

Anyway when i am feeling BROKE i like to poor extra pepper on my open sores by window shopping online, PLANNING so to speak for the future, basically spending my money before it hits my bank account - i cant it this week, next week - two years from now...WHO KNOWS??!!...the life of the unemployed is HARD!...i have never ever not worked since i came to this country, my choice..simply because i LIKE being in control of my person, i am sorry when you don't work, you are someones bitch...all you do is just WAIT...and try to be considerate...when its the fruit of your own labour you can afford to be stupid about things but i am entirely too responsible to take advantage of my parents generosity ya ain't easy and i feel that my love for expensive footwear should not be their can be HALF of their burden lol but not all...haha..

Note - Ladies please dont spend all your cash on Gucci purses and sandals and forget about your clothes- nice purses, shoes and some crappy dress -- err nah - let every part of your body enjoy - your purse should not look better than your person...just a friendly word of advice.

I love girlshop and intermix, my top two online stores.....there is an intermix in Georgetown and a girl shop in Chelsea?...i cant remember, somewhere in new york....i have gotten a couple of stuff from both stores but only so little because their ish is PRICEY! heart starts beating EXTRA fast if i spend over 500 dollars on anything, my ass aint balling like that yet please....not just yet...

soooooo lemme show you what i imaginary bought...

I have been looking for totes for school - carrying my laptop bag, school bag and handbag makes me look like a bag i think these bags from urban outfitters work, the gray one is on mad sale - PLUS it will go great with your black skinny yay!- embrace the rock alternative look!

These are miu miu totes - i love butter cream and coffee leather...sigh ** - so soft - these purses go for about 1,445 dollars, they are stashed away in my imaginary dreams...

These are urban outfitter shoesies, i love the gentlemanly styled shoe goes great with skinny jeans as well or tights...

I dont really go for white jackets like that...very dramatic...but i love this burberry coat..its detailed in a very undramatic it.

I love simple black dresses and this one on the left is mad simple...granted to rock this very covered look you have to have BANGING long legs...but does that matter to me - HELL NO!!...if its fine its mine...i love it - middle dress is by RM - its cocktail and i love it - interesting pockets though - the last dress - i love the color - love the fabric- WISH i could work with fabric like that i would Destroy it lol...but i dont really fancy the length- it would be shortened instanta! - oh and the ruffles are divine!

These shoes are quite opposite but i love em both - i cant remember quite where i saw them but on the left i believe is urban outfitters - i like that shape of shoe -its usually very comfortable and very 80s and i also like that extra strip of silver around the edge - on the right is more elegant - are those heels blue if they are i love it - i like the woven look of the shoe - its me on a laid back i am rich bitch day..

i am searching desperately for an outfit for my new yrs celebration in NYC - that red dress is it please - its modest yet sexy - love it - i dont really love the middle dress on the mannequin but i know it would look good when draped on a real body - its very loose and its jewel toned and i am so in love with jewel colors this season - the gray dress is easy to wear, chic without much effort!

i ran across several casual jackets/coats on sale in urban outfitters - i like prints, muted colors and easy wear. The plaid belted coat was like 44 dollars?...hmm...well i know it wasnt more than 60 bucks...its stylish, a nice length and the neckline is awesome....

Yay so checkout!!!

Meanwhile i caught Forbes 20 billionaire heiresses today on E! ....*BLANK STARE*......some peoples lives eh??!!...HAI!.....i spent an HR wondering HOW, HOOW to reach that level....its almost impossible...unless i happen to trap a billionaire or something and HOW POSSIBLE IS THAT?!!!....i mean damn, this world is too unequal!...and with that i bid you all ADIEU!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

On a random rambling note...

I find it interesting how there are different boxes you people into...ya know?....there is always someone who reminds me of someone...its all very interesting how human beings fit into different categories.....

Brief preview on what i am talking about...

Disclaimer - this is all very random and its for fun, i am freestyling here people!

How comes it that...

  • there is always that fairy princess dude or chic...that head of the rat pack person who stays running things...from primary school to university....things JUST cant go on without him/her there...the party just does NOT start!! some cases its not that extreme you know...everyone can still have a life...but IN SOME OTHER CASES my dears, you need to be cognizant of his/her rules if you dare to be in his/her presence!...i have a friend who is a friend of one of these "types" and i swear this babe told me that there are certain things you cant say in front of her friend, like its just not allowed!...i was like daggonit! how do you get there???? how are you able to control people!!...that's one talent i wish i had damnit:(...

Money, looks and extreme confidence...

  • There is always that girl who is DYING to be in the so called Hot see here...its not a game for her....Please its not...this is her life we are talking about!! (my perfect example is that idiot they call lindsay lohan hiss...i had so much faith in her dumb ass!).....unfortunately these girls never catch on that if you ever struggle to enter anything, you will never be 100% accepted, you will just be that girl who was struggling to enter....forever....but still it happens everyday...and these girls will do anything and say anything to be accepted....its very sad...for some reason they aren't satisfied with their lot in life ..... the grass seems greener on the other side...we all hope that that girl one day realises that life on the other side of the fence... that grass that seems so faux grass.

Low self esteem

  • There is always that very fashionable chic, who you just stare and wonder at like dang, where the hell did you get that from?...she is fashion forward and she knows it...infact truth be told, she could wear something really ugly, which you would call ugly on every other girl but maybe cus its her, you might just think its fashion lol... and she throws around fashionable words like "tres lol" and "uber" and all that fashion lingo...okay waaaaitt hold up??!!!...quick deviation from my train of thought!... i.......... find it quite interesting that if you ever (ok i am a loser sue me) look through fbook profiles of fashion lovers, their profiles are sooooooooooooooooo flirty and chic and blah.....i mean its the same likes and dislikes...same damn thing!...everytime.....human beings stop bumping into each other damnit!...okay i do not exclude myself here okay??!...i am guilty! i need a damn lawyer hiss!

Creativity, money, time, interest in fashion...who the hell knows...this is too general!...i blame you.

  • There is always that guy who is just the BIZNISSS!!...he is hot, all the girls like him, you can deny it from here to hell but if his ass ever looks at you, its over like THAT! unfortunately, he is an AHOLE and you cant understand why girls are STILLLL messing with him..but hey...its part of the package!.....For instance, my cousin was jisting me about the hottest dude in her set, she is like in ss2 and he is in a set higher than her and like they were dating but then he started messing around with her Best friend right! ( imagine all this drama, so much TUMULT! stupid children face your studies!!) anyway when she was describing the hell he had wrought on her even shorter life, i started feeling him slightly damn this n^&** must be hot!damn! ..and thats the official reason why i am very stupid lol.

Genetics, money,self confidence, ability to be a bastard...

  • There is always that girl who is finer than you, okay i really cant stand this girl so i am going to discuss her STUPID ass with, all the hating aside, she is usually really nice too! and while you are there killing yourself with all your baffs and red lipstick she just simply wears a nice dress and puts ***her**** long naturally soft hair into a ponytail and its officially a wrap...just go home...there is no point...girls like this...i stay far away from them...but we always have them..unfortunately :(...ladies please make a point to be that girl!...oppress lest ye shall be oppressed!...which is why i hang with oseyi and joan...Holla!...I AM JOKING PLS NO ONE INSULT ME...i am aging and very vulnerable at the moment...thanks!

LUCK! (haha i keed), genetics.(bitch lol)

I am done with my random generalizations for now...ill be back with more...unless you have some for me! that would be TRES abi UBER fun lol.

In the meantime Jamie lyn spears being pregant like whaaaaaaaaa???....I worry too much...i am about to give up on this young generation....please stop.


This is what i want for christmas, please search within your hearts and donate to a worthy cause...i am willing to send you my address whenever you are ready..thanks and God bless.


WOOHOO!! its been one year since we started this blog, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!(Line from coming to America)....but its like WOW!....a daggone year already?! holy smokes!...Thanks to everyyyyyyyyyyone who has given us support during this one year, we REALLY appreciate it!!! We are trying and hoping we can actually achieve what we want...its so hard men...soo be relevant??!! have finances?!! do what you want to do without something Being a factor...the something and time....its like...where do you even start from men??....I just pray that God can help us do what we truely love to do...cus there is nothing better than doing what you love you feel me.....its all good sha...i am getting all morose and anyway i just want to wish everyone A MERRY christmas and a HAPPY new i always say, people need to remember the true meaning of Christmas....Its about Jesus! not santa...and not new shoes...or a flat screen (which i got from my bro holla! lol)...but its about Jesus coming into this world in the most HUMBLE of ways...being born in a stable...Pride is so not the new black...we all have to humble ourselves because thats the ONLY way we can be exalted...everyone say AMEN!!...we love y'all....and MAY GOD BLESS US ALL THIS CHRISTMAS!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!...annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd EXIT!

Cranberry kisses this holiday season...

Monday, December 17, 2007


So i get a lot of people wondering what cranberry has been up to and why it seems like we've kind of 'relaxed' on the whole thing. Thats not the case at all, we are just really individually busy, but we have big plans for cranberry that are currently being set into motion, so keep your fingers crossed for us!!!


I wanted to tell you guys about a random and funny incident. Sooo, earlier this year, okay more like in August, cranberry showed at the Haute magazine launch, and even if i wasnt in attendance i heard it was a raving success. We were approached by a lovely lady by the name of Busie, who ran an indie media company called Fashion Indie and she was uber souped about Cranberry and so we exchanged contact information and all that. Now, of course we always get a lot of people approaching us asking us to do this or that or coming at us with some wack magazine and asking us to feature in some wack ass show or the other (is that mean? no seriously you need to see some of the emails we huh??) So naturally, we were skeptical but we always give everything a chance, so as soon as we got the chance, we checked the webbie out. I was honestly 100% impressed. It was all so effortlessly cool, and I really loved everything they were about (check them out --->, so we became a lil more encouraged to contact her about future collaboration prospects.

Now, perusing the website one day, i noticed a flier for a competition called project polartec, in which you had to submit a portfolio and only 7 designers were goin to be chosen to compete for $2000 or $5000 i forget. The catch was that they had to send you the fabric of choice, and you had to create one outfit with at least 90% of what they send you. I recognized the name polartec from like winter gear and all that but i still thot hmm...seems legit. So I thought to myself, let me send pics of cranberry in and see what happens. So i did and forgot about it for a long time to the point that i didnt even tell Joan or Doreen about it. Imagine my surprise when i recieved a letter in the mail sayin we had been chosen to compete in a show in November alongside 6 other designers and blabla, and a personal message from someone in their PR department saying how much she loved the collection.

I excitedly phone the ladies and im like omg guys and i tell them everything that happened. So now we have to wait to recieve our fabric....


Okay....i mean i dont know if this was sposed to be what the challenge was about, but dawg, when i say that the shipment of fabric was the absolute UGLIEST thing i ever saw in my life!!!!!! my knees almost gave way. IT WAS UBER HEDIOUS!!! it looked like....bathroom carpet. One was mint green, another sickly orange...another had like little animals drawn on them. All were that ugly velveteen upholstery looking fabric...honestly whoever came up with that needs to be fired ASAP! Once more i call Dee and joan and im like......SERIOUSLY!! they thot i was exaggerating....until they saw it. WE ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM LAUGHTER.

So, i send them an email politely declining from competing (sorry i admit defeat, there was absolutely nothing to be done with this fabric short of making a blanket... and the kind you bring out when u have too many visitors sleeping over and u desperately need warmth). Did i mention that part of the grand prize was a years supply of fabric from polartec?


Friday, December 14, 2007

Happy Holidays!!!

Hey guys...We are sorry we haven't blogged in a while. We will do so as soon as possible....we just have these things called finals that we have to finish...I really wish I didn't have to take them but they are kinda like't wait to finish so I can finally blog without feeling if we don't blog before the Christmas...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Cranberry Kisses

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Oh Yeahhh! I promised myself that I would do something productive today since I decided to pull a Ferris Bueller...( was snowing OKAYYY!!!) . I'm sure most of you do not know but Doreen..aka my sister aka..BeUche or whatever it is they call her these days turned 23 yesterday...whopptidooo!!! Yes we are all getting older one day at a time...any way...we decided to throw her a party this saturday...and it was great....we had a blast!! and I wish we could do it again! YAYYY!! I dont think we mentioned Oseyi's party...but September 28th was Oseyi's birthday...yes that old person turned 21 and she too had something in New York Citayy..which was fun...I cannot remember much of that day due to the magical effects of Stoli's and champagne but it was fun...and homegirl looked grrreeatttt!!!!!

Oseyi on her special day

Doreen on her special day!

My Rant of the day!!------------------------------------------------------>

OMG...I dont know whether anyone caught the Tyra Banks episode where she brought men of different races to talk about women of different races...KAI! I have never felt so ugly in my entire life...if you see how they dissed black chicas ..DAYUM....I mean even the damn black guys couldn't even defend the poor black girl who in my opinion (call me biased..i dont care) was wayy finer than all the other chicas...rubbish...It made me so madd but for the first time in my life I agreed with Tyra Banks on something( you know that chick is crazy)...anyway she said that while she was a model, although she was more of the runway model at first, she tried to appear in more sexy shoots so that dudes could see that black women could also be sexy...and for that I appreciated her a lot more...because honestly it is not fair...It is so easy for people to see a female who is tall, slim with blonde hair and call her the finest thing on earth and disregard the black girl who in actuality is more beautiful just because of her skin color. I guess I am just sick and tired of many of these blogs like dlisted and even some of the black blogs that just pick on black women..calling them robohos, masculine, aliens and Fat etc...It is really getting on my damn nerves.

Sigh..okay im done now!

So is anyone else watching Project Runway because I think this season is err kinda Wackkk....I'm sorry but I expected much more from them and I am still yet to see some extreme talent...although I must say that the winner of the first challenge ( dude with the gray dress with the flower) is my favorite...that dress (although I hated the flower) was really nice and well tailored. I think the worst thing about this season are the models..Oh LAWD...those girls..i just dont get it...they are horrible.

So Kanye and T-Pain are going to be in Nigeria on December 14th..woowwyy!! I like the way they say Shine Shine bo bo...took me a while to realise that that was what they were saying...I actually thought it was a new song the way they said it with their American accents..and yes people..I have NTA..straight up...and that channel is still one of the worst channels in the world...They need to step their game up...STOP sending your children to school to study medicine and law...some people need to be studying broadcasting...we need some people to rescue that channel abeg!

Anyway I'm going to leave you guys with something that made me smile. Enjoy!!

Cranberry Kisses!!!!

Friday, November 30, 2007

I love Broadway!!

This is Wicked! i havent had the opportunity to see it yet but i have heard soooo many good things about it and i cant wait to find the time!

Lion King - gives me goosebumps! absolute best broadway show i have been too - makes me so PROUD to be African - Rafiki was played by a south african lady who did such a GREAT job as you would see in this intro!

Last but not the least is the original dreamgirls performance featuring jennifer holiday! the Intensity and the emotion she conveys is soooo "shivers' - homeboy should PLEASE STAY, i mean damn!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

August Rush


After foolishly realising that the anatomy quiz on monday that we were killing ourselves studying for was actuallly postponed to the upper week monday....????...... We...


I digress >So annoying, all that guilt that i hadn't studied enough ...FOR NOTHING!.. its all my fault anyway, i stabbed Anatomy the day of the announcement because i was doing a project i thought was due that day but turned out to be due in mid december...???.....I suck at schedules, i literally have people text me the night before the exam to remind me what time it starts...its so ridiculous, i believe my worst experience with that was when i walked into an examination hall at 11pm on the dot... 24 hours after the examination was taken didnt seem that funny back then!....OR when joan and I woke up at 8AM....and the exam started at 8AM! A's in both classes! woohoo!.....when i get richer i am definitely getting me an assistant!.....


......We decided to throw down our laptops, and walk down to our neigbourhood movie theatre and go see two movies in a row....of course....whilst paying for one.....of
First we saw"This Christmas" was good, had my no 1 chic i would mess with if i went lesbo LAUREN LONDON, my boyfriend from STOMP the yard, my new cutie Chris Brown, I loved it!....i laughed, i cursed (black boy/oyibo girlfriend...hiss), i cried too, cus i am stupid like that......
Then next, we saw...... August rush....... and I have to please ask anyone who reads this blog to do me a big favor - If you can, please go see August Rush, it is Officially the most BEAUTIFUL MOVIE i have ever watched recently. It was Inspirational, Awe inspiring, Emotional, I was literallly floooreeed, I = Joan and I....cried, prayed, EVERYTHING, i know i am exaggerating but damn, my heart is so BIG right now, I LOVE EVERYBODY!!!, GOOD EXISTS!! JESUS I LOVE YOU!, i am soooo not bitchy or sarcastic or mean right now, i just feel pure! SIGH*...i dont want to give away the plot.. but...all i can say is some people are blessed... some people are so talented... and God really is present in Music, thats what i think....sigh*
I cried die...joan and I, like a pair of psychos! embarassed myself too, clapping loudly at the end.....sigh*...i am so emotional right now:)....


Had a nice thankgiving, incase you are wondering! Had my favourite fashionable cousin from France "Perry" and my bro come in from outta town annd my fave chica's Abby and Ozzy were here too, sigh* good times! shopping, gossip/insults and cocktails!AngerballZ lol.
Am i the only one who has to get it crunk at home before hitting the lounge/club/party?... nightlife bores the hell out of me! i need to see things in a tipsy blur to have fun!...damn..i am getting old lol... i will be back with more deets! Off to get some sleep!

Cranberry kisses!

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Its thursday, almost friday, No work, better still.. NO SCHOOL!! WOOHOO!!! thats almost enough reason to give thanks!!!!lol, But still.... today is the day we should all collectively take a moment to THANK GOD for all his blessings, because we are all here today and Hopefully all in good health, so THANK YOU GOD!!!!

On a more negative note lol, this holiday get K-leg!!, how did it really originate? WHAT are we REALLY celebrating?! the GENOCIDE of red indians???? how barbaric!!! So to the red indians whose land we took, cus THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND! I am sorry, you were here first...oops!..give...thanks!...for umm.... states like oklahoma and arizona??... that are still chuckfull of your people...umm i know its like only two states?!....which must be hard cus you owned like...ALL?!...but really dont be grateful! I KEED!!...Red Indians i got your back!
*MY rather shallow "Give Thanks"very short list*
So i have a slight obsession with Phylicia Allen, aka Phylicia Rashad known to most as "Claire Huxtable"...because... she exudes the class, elegance and subtle glamour that i yearn to possess ...someday.

I think she really changed television..because... after her debut as Mrs Huxtable, most of the other comedians sought really attractive, classy wives as their partners on screen as compared to the overweight LOUD black women that were supposedly the image of a "black wife"

( Which is ONE of the MANY REASONS i hate Tyler perry's new show, LIFE WITH PAYNE - Thanks for bringing back the jolly, overweight mammy image!)

DISCLAIMER-There is absolutely nothing wrong with loud, overweight black women ...IN REAL LIFE!, but in comparison to the leading caucasian ladies on TV (>insert the brady's mom, i dream of genie chic and the bewitched lady) the black leading woman on tv were purposely portrayed in that "MAMMY" light..hiss.

SO THANKS Phylicia for breaking the barriers and proving that WE ARE PRETTY, ELEGANT and CLASSY !

- I give thanks to those People who are unfazed by beyonce in a way that is not murderous or vicious, those people who could care either way about her existence, who dont have to PURPOSELY piss me off by angrily insulting her..they dont have to...because they dont give a SHIT, which i can Understand, its not by force to like her! I give thanks to those people, because as a BSTAN, i am SICK of fighting with psychos, if you dont like her, hell! turn off the tv,or radio! just turn it off!

And Beyonce, MY QUEEN! thank you for being you, I LOVE YOU!! sob*...complete me!!!!! lol...I am praying that you will continuously succeed , dont worry, as a person who has encountered her own fair share of haters, YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT! be worried if you have none! advice to you sweetie, is to MAKE as much money as you can now, people might die of seeing you too much(I WONT!), BUT make it will you can!, product placements, tours, phones, SELL YOURSELF!! Money is sweet, MAKE IT!, who cares what anyone else thinks!Dont mind everyone else, they are just ugly!(how can you hate someone you dont know?! beats me!)love you! MUAH*!

- Thanks to MGM classics for creating all the feature films i love(seven brides for seven brothers, king and I, My fair lady) its a hot shame that the quality of movies produced in the 40s and 50s are still better than our Nigerian movies of today...

To be quite fair, we Nigerians are undoubtedly more interested in being Doctors and Engineers than actually learning about the movie industry, hence, the bad actors, open shameless shelling in our scripts (if we have any at all, i really believe we freestyle), obvious mistakes, and the issues of passerby's openly gawking in the background...???....all in all, i Love Nigerian movies! BUT as a former victim of "intense countryman shame" i cant help but be harsh about our movies.

I took a class in my senior year which involved watching movies from different countries and dissecting them, in terms of story, acting ...all that, I MUST say that whilst watching the Nigerian movie(which i would have normally enjoyed), I sat cringing in my seat from start to finish, just KNOWING it was about to be a BLOODBATH, the way the other students FINISHED IT EH! i was WEAK!, tore it apart, laughed hilariously! it was A MESS!! I had no WORDS! ...SO please NO thanks to Nigerian movies...lets aim to do better.

*I also thank the leaves for being our first fashion statement, Julia Roberts for pretty woman and Mark Zuckerberg for Facebook! ALL in ALL, my list draws to an end as the sweet smell of food cooked by SOMEONE else (thank you MUM!) seduces my nostrils!

Have a great thanksgiving! and THANK YOU FOR VISITING OUR BLOG!!

Cranberry kisses***

Monday, November 19, 2007


The National Lottery
PO Box 1010
Liverpool L70 1NL United Kingdom.
Ref: XYL /26510460037/05
Batch: 24/00319/IPD


We happily announce to you the Draw (#1147) of the UK NATIONAL
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This is from a total cash prize of £4,596,411(Four Million, Five
Hundred And Ninety Six Thousand,Four Hundred And Eleven Pounds
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extracted from over 100,000 unions,associations, and corporate bodies
that are listed online.

This is mid year promotional draw in which there were no tickets

To file for your claim, please contact your fudiciary agent
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Tel: +44 702 405 7876 +44 703 190 7426 +44 703 194 0857


How you need your winning funds.?

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© UK National Lottery 2007 Online Promotion.


For many years, we have been dragged from institution to institution in search of higher education, with the assumption that after all that toiling we would eventually be able to use this education to provide a stable future for ourselves. Memories as early as learning to write, to using Queen premiere to learn to read, to primary 4 when i was "mature" enough to write with a BIRO for once, to failing an English exam in pry 5 because I couldnt see before my parents finally agreed to have my eyes checked and discovered that I had -5 vision (short sighted) vicious Queens college and then the more demure Lagoon, to going to O-level exams to scope boys, to avoiding A levels by any means necessary hence my arrival in America, to killing myself as a Biochemistry turned Business turned Biology (vicious orders from above) turned Bio-Anthro major, PHEW and now to a fashion design major.


This is just to announce my retirement from Cranberry and subsequent dropping out of school as I have stumbled upon on my fortune in the sum of f £1,532,720 (OneMillion, Five Hundred And Thirty Two Thousand, Seven Hundred And Twenty Pounds Sterling) in cash. (that i will be picking up in person, from the office annex)

I dont know ANYBODY and from henceforth can no longer be contacted. (Joan and Doreen ive changed my number and deleted my email adress and facebook page, sorry it had to end like this, but you know the child that rides on its mothers back does not know how far the journey is.)


Sunday, November 18, 2007


Soooo...i caught the last part of the best man like 2 days know the part where they are at the wedding and he starts bawling when he is saying his vows...yes that part. First of all...Morris Chestnut looked soooo damn good in that movie......I hope my husband can look like that on my wedding day... sigh!

*off to say a prayer*

Anyway...that got me thinking about weddings. I know it is on most of your really shouldn't be on mine but since my family and friends have decided that this is wedding season..i have no option ya know! I cannot count the no. of weddings that have gone down this past yr and those that are coming up next yr...(im so happy for you ladies! you know yourselves!) Anyway, weddings are sooo stressful...migosh...I need to get a wedding planner for mine because I honestly don't think I can handle all of that stress. Call me crazy but I have also decided the color of my bridesmaids dresses...I'm thinking Languid Lavender or something...I think it compliments our skin tone. You know there are a lot of things that have to be put into consideration when planning a wedding. Apart from the location...which has to be uhh fabulous....the wedding party has got to look really good...which is the reason why i have decided to put out an age limit for my if you are above a certain age..and unless you are halle just arent going to make it...sorry! But seriously though, I really am not one of those people that want their bridesmaids to be looking busted so that they can shine or whatever. I mean like pictures are going to be taken and we can't have busted pics can we?

(courtesy: etiquettehell)

They left me shocked and appalled!

Ok so enough on the bridesmaids..lets talk about the BRIDE!!!

First of all I would like to focus on those brides that decide to look busted on the big day. I mean, it is damn near baffling. I just don’t understand why this happens and I have seen it happen one time too many. I always thought that your wedding day was supposed to be the most special day of your life ..a day you want to remember forever…a day that you should be looking the best you have ever looked. I mean for goodness is your last day as a single lady and your first day as a married lady so for that reason you have to be looking your best…NOT BUSTED! I don’t know whether I am vain…(maybe I but I really feel that you have to do all you can to look damn good. Get in shape, get your hair done, get a makeup artist…I repeat GET A MAKEUP ARTIST (one that knows what she’s doing preferably), PAMPER YOURSELF, Make sure your dress is magical (and that it fits you and compliments your body type). I mean, people need to be confused. I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this but I have been to people’s weddings and complimented the bride thinking to myself, “What was she thinking???” I mean why in this world does she look like she just got up one morning, decided to wear a white dress and, packed her hair into a pony tail and hustled her way to a church? Makes no sense to me at all.
Anywayy… I am putting pictures of my sisters wedding and my cousin’s wedding because call me biased but I think they look very good. I don’t have too many examples because I don’t know so many married people (I’m young..and my friends haven’t decided to start marrying just yet..haha) Unfortunately, I won’t be adding any examples of umm..harsh brides…just because I’m not that mean.

You know, I think all brides are beautiful..don’t get me wrong…its just that some are beautiful in their own haphazardly way that I am STILL yet to get…teehee!!!

my sister and her sisters on her big day!

she looks gorgeous!

my cousin..looking radiant!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


You know what? I dont like oyinbo people. Because the truth is, I dont trust any of them and I just think they are a patronizing bunch of idiots.
Scene 1
Us standing outside, trying to get a cab (in NY city...another cab story later). A bunch of oyinbo people pull up at the stop light (just incase any of my oyinbo *friends* read this blog one day..). The guy starts yelling something about backseat drivers.
Blank stare. Its freezing, we are in high heels and light jackets and not in the mood for this stupid behavior.
Guy tries to engage us again. Yeah, the thing about backseat drivers yadiyadiyada...
Blank Stare.
"CHARLIE MURPHY!!!!!" and they all start laughing and drive off.


Does the color of my skin stamp a "fool" on my forehead or something. Am i supposed to smile because you say the name of a black man to me, either 1. amused that you know the name of a black person (like ure not freaking living in this country, WHY do people always find it amusing when oyinbos know a piece of black trivia like theyre not meant to know???) or 2. supposed to crack a smile and be like yeaaaaaaaaaah hes down!!!!!

Scenario 2.
My friends and I catchin a cab to go home to our seperate, ON THE WAY destinations
To cab driver: We're goin to X first, then Y next then Z
Cab driver: NO no im making only ONE stop
Us: HUH?! we all live in different places, and its not like one is in brooklyn and the other one is in queens, its all in manhattan and its on the way
Cab driver: no, only makin one stop
Us, beginning to get heated, like ok then we need to catch another cab
Cab driver: See why we dont like picking "YOU GUYS" up.
Nuff said


I watch MTV, i watch VH1, whether or not i am interested in an actor, the music, the show, the anything, i ALWAYS know who people are because i know what is goin on in the world around me. Yet there will be some oyinbo woman or man who has no idea who Pdiddy is, and yes i do think that is ridiculous, how can u be so immersed in your own race that you have no idea who other people are or even something simple as WEAVE. OKAY, now why dont they ever realize that people wear weaves? Im sorry but in this day and age, you cannot be that stupid to seriously ask me "Oh my God your hairs grown, how did it grow so fast?". They are so UNINTERESTED in other races that they have NO IDEA what goes on.

WHY OH WHY do oyinbo people like to tell me if some hip hop song is their favorite song or they know it or something. My roomates only listen to oyinbo music i have never heard of, yet on my birthday they had to play "Go shawty, its your birthday" 50 cent for me..WHY i dont even like 50 cent!!!!!!!!

WHy are oyinbo girls automatically finer than black girls, NO MATTER WHAT...its such a shame that black girls seem to have the shorter end of the stick cos apparently now ure cool as a black boy if you only kick it with foreign chicks. How can i go to a lounge (okay its NY we're talkin about they are crazy here) and theyll say we're only letting 6 in! to a group of black chicks, lol, is that the quota for the night or what?

Im sick and tired of being a "token", my friends and i the only black chicks in the spot, the only black intern, one of the 5 blacks in school, its just so annoying cos poeple are SO patronizing. When a hip hop song comes up in a club and some stupid blonde girl tells you to show her the dance...LOL thats when i begin to fight you know white chicks scare easy!

Someone needs to tell me where the black proffesionals party at, cos im sick of going to these stupid "premiere" lounges, where the bouncer thinks hes doing you a favor by letting you in and some stupid oyinbos want you to come and be the token blacks on their table or something!!!!!

But lastly I have to tell you about a plane ride that i will never forget when i ended up getting sat in between some 2 blonde middle aged women, one who was a dermatologist and the other who kept tryin to feed me.
She grabs my hair (my silky long black weave)
"Wow!! how do you get your hair to be like that? My daughter spends ageeees straightening her hair, you black people are so lucky you always have long bone straight hair" Me: er, okay, take your hand out of my locks please before you pull one out.
Next, she pulls out a picture of her daughter and proceeds to tell me how beautiful and popular her daughter is and bla bla.
Next. "wow, you know the one thing i admire about black people? Your skin!! i always say i can never tell a black womans age you know. You guys have such great skin, white people age too quickly." Okay, em, thanks.
.."Did you watch the oscars? yes there was some rap group that performed there, i was really shocked at the oscars i dont really like that kind of music..what is it called? pop pop? hip pop? Wow, if i were black i wouldnt want those people representing my race!! and they won an oscar too. Singing something about a pimp or the other" I guess this is when 36 mafia won their oscar. Yes ma'am.
" haha you know whats funny? My niece just recently got married to a black man!!! yes i remember she cried and cried because she wasnt sure how her baby was going to look, and she wanted her little girl to have blue eyes. I laughed and told her not to be silly. How was her baby going to have blue eyes?? I wasnt even sure how light the baby was going to be, why her husband was as DARK AS YOU!!" Oh no! shock shock horror! My eyes remained widened for most of the flight, and if i got on that flight with any illusions, by the time that plane landed if i wasnt sure about anything in my life, i knew one thing for a fact:
NIGGA YOUZ BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a rather worried note..

Children these days scare me, I get so worried all the time, the world is just changing, its very scary.
I just watched Tyra and the topic was about Parents speaking to their kids about sex, and I just realized how important a topic it is. Being Nigerian I know my parents didn’t talk to me about nothing, infact I would have killed myself if my mother or father made any such moves. I cannot even relegate this topic to only American teenagers because Nigerian kids these days are running wild.
Sometimes I feel matronly with my opinions but its just the daggone truth, why are these kids in such a rush?

In high school I definitely experienced all that sex pressure being a "babe" and all lol, but please my self esteem was so high that I knew no idiot, in the words of kanye, could tell me NOTHING! and that’s what these kids LACK, its all a matter of having a strong sense of self and being strong enough to say NO if the pressure arises. These young adults are so afraid that’ so so so and so boy would dump them if they don’t have sex, which unfortunately is the truth lol. Step your game up and realise you can do better than that douchebag!

I dated a boy once in high school who was extremely HOT and popular(that’s so important in high school YEECH!) and he was like 2 yrs older than me, and I likkkkkkked him more than I liked any other boy I had ever dated, infact he was the first dude I ever kissed aww, I liked him die and we had been dating him on and off for a coupla years (whilst dating my steady boyfriend lol..yeah boo i cheated on you) and he gave me this really *special*, going away present, which you could also call an ultimatum... the eve of my journey to yanks for school.
hmmm... let me see...How did he phrase it again?

Sexy Stupid Ex, " We have been dating for blah blah blah years and we haven’t had sex, Doreen, its obvious you don’t like me, if you liked me you would have sex with me tonight before you leave, I have been patient with you, and I just think "dramatic pause" that its unfair to me and I want to be your first, and if I cant then I don’t want to be with you?"….

>insert my stunned silence….like really??, how wonderful for you!...

so I replied politely "fuck you and have a great day" and left….

Several ignored phone calls, and emails later I decided to accept his stupid ass apology. STUPID!

I think I was grounded cause of my older sisters who were so cool and wise and wicked, after being privy to their jist which mostly comprised of dissing stupid loose girls in their sets I just knew I couldn’t be stupid too. True talk. I knew people whose older sisters had very stank reputations and like clock work they turned out skank, that’s mostly the way the story goes, then again you could be the hot potato in your family and get attention from boys and go crazy. Endless Scenarios.

In high school I was invited to share in nasty gossip and I remember wondering why everyone felt the need to top each others raunchy gossip, what is this pressure? What is this need to appear cool to your peers? Its was so annoying then and its still annoying today -You know who you are! please stop telling me your nasty lil jist, keep it between you and baby, or boo boo. I DONT CARE to imagine your boyfriend in the throes of passion, unless you are dating will demps, then we could both probably describe him in his threos okayyyyyyyyyyyy! (yup! that means we would be secret lovers, for those who are slow)..

Last summer out of the goodness of my heart and brokenness of my pockets I decided to intern in a good will company as a counselor for young adults from low income families.
Let me just say, THAT, it was a very very horrible and difficult experience for the shallow Doreen, but that’s a story for another day lol.
Anyway, It was so hard to get through to these teenagers because they had experienced so much, Insert > crack head momsis and baby daddies in jail, OH MY!
Luckily/ unluckily for me, I was also their dance instructor for their end of year program (which was hot, I am so talented someone give me a star!) –
Naturally when you work with people...sorry... Yell at people, which is what usually happens when you are a dance coordinator, you become buddies, the young ladies felt comfortable telling me EVERYTHING... see jist... MI GAWD I was practically a new born baby in their midst. These kids were ranging from 11 – 16 and they were so wise sexually! A couple of them hadn’t had sex ..but... the SHAME in which the admitted it and the way the other girls laughed at them, which prompted them to quickly say "oh but I have definitely had oral sex" to try and tone down their virgin status, made me realize that the world needs to just hurry up and end because things are just getting WORST (and I said worst on purpose k). When it becomes a stigma for 14 year old girls to still be virgins, you know things are getting rather ridiculous. damn.

All in all, I tried to make them realize that its okay to wait, chill, stop rushing , stop letting boys do whatever and leave them hanging, stop, at least till you are 16 – who am I kidding – 18! - I mean I tried to talk to these kids but I knew noone was listening.
These children were already so tainted by their life experiences that I just knew nothing I said would stick, they have heard it all before from other counselors, life is not a Disney movie and I could not be the heroic counselor who saved them from getting pregnant at 15.

I Think young adults are so vulnerable and they just desperately want to connect with someone. They want to be in the so called "IN- CROWD", they want the cool boy to like them, and they are willing to walk in shoes bigger than their feet. sad. To think how Akward(i cannot spell this word so dont judge me) teenage young boys are, its funny that they have so much POWER over these young ladies - infact thinking about it, teenage boys know how to give SINCERE raps men, they chase you, with tears in their eyes lol and their daddies money in their wallet...eya so cute!

On a very perplexed note, I have no idea where I am going to raise my kids, America preaches freedom of expression, which is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, you shall DO AS I SAY, as far as i am concerned, Oh hell nah!... I hate peer pressure, I really don’t want any stupid"free thinking" friend trying to influence my kids because I will fuck that friend up lol!..

I love how my parents raised me, I just always felt ...invincible, no peer pressure, no nothing, people say I am arrogant but I am just extra – confident, and I think it’s a blessing, one thing I know For sure is, If i raise my kids in lagos, I am not sending my children to Vivian fowler.! Yes I am a hater LOL, VF girls I am sorry… but your school breeds hoes! HAHAHAH!...i keed...very slightly( AND NO, A VF GIRL DID NOT STEAL MY BOYFRIEND lol.)

On an ending note, hold a conversation with your younger sister, your niece or your future daughter. It is very important to raise your children with a high self esteem and with a mind of her own. The ability to make the right decision is the most empowering trait a woman could have.

Whew* shortest blog i ever wrote lol!
Cranberry Kisses***!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Gentlemen's Quarterly.

Is it just me or are men really REALLY paying an extra attention to fashion? We thank God!

I dont care how fine you are if your ass is wearing a big tee and baggy jeans, it is not happening!! Granted guys make a good template( >they wake up, shower and wear clothes and still look sexy HELLO!) but if he dresses like crap and he is happy with it, no matter what you do you cant change his mind (trust me , i have tried) until he is ready and frankly i am too lazy, impatient and angry to wait around for that to happen(YES I AM SHALLOW LIKE THAT!) - (unless he is Will demps then he can wear a kente turtle neck and red hot pants for all i care)

I am notorious for "dressing up" all my "willing" male friends, helping them shop and suggesting ways to improve their sexy -insert earrings, black turtlenecks, nice fitted jeans (NOTE -i didnt say crotch stifling) nice shoes, watches (i am very particular, i detest leather straps eew), sunglasses (we chics can get away with rocking urban outfitter 15 dollar knock offs but guys HAVE to wear designer SORRY but its a must),signature scents (a dude has to smell like himself - there is nothing sexier! DOUSE YOURSELVES BOYS! DOUSE!!)

But anyway, right now Nigerian young men are going crazy with this fashion thing, we have everyone and their granddaddies wearing tight suits and cravats and pocket squares trying to do the grown and sexy or rocking keffiyeh's with tight Jeans and teeshirts - blah blah blah..i am bored:(....

I digress -"THIS IS ALL THANKS TO JAYZ, KANYE AND DIDDY and that damn bottle popping lifestyle that Nigerian boys are scrambling to adopt.

Like i always say, "fashion changes but style remains", I salute the gentleman who have been looking cool and dapper since before looking cool and dapper became cool...

So we decided to compile a list of my African men(apart from one) who are interesting, naturally fashionable, cool,who look good in whatever they wear, who i can shop with, who put clothes together in the RIGHT WAY and most importantly who stand out from the crowd.... since i am a SUCKER for suits, most of them are photographed looking very GQ ....who said African guys cant dress?!...

Enjoy ladies, i know you will, i know i did *wink*- definitely one of my top five lists lol.

Chike is an actor in New york and i love love Love his style! he always looks very put together and it doesnt hurt that he is hottie! - sorry i am a sucker for earrings-- sigh*

Kemka always looks good!He wears his suits really really wel!lLove it!...

I love Buffy's cream suit on the left on the right with the coffee coloured tie?! lovely! - he rocks a polka dot cravat with a sweater and a gray suit...which is really hot. Love it!

Shumo-el is such a sweetie! and he looks great too..ALL THE TIME! okay... On the right, its genius to rock a very bright bold coloured dress shirt with a dark suit! and i am a sucker for turtlenecks with suits like he does on the left - its sooo sexy!

Bolaji, a future movie director is such an interesting person! and it transcends to his style, there he is on the left looking really GQ at the haute magazine launch, and i love his tie on the right- very 80s spin to a classic cut suit.

Okay tobi's jacket on the left is ridick! love it! and the suspenders on the right is hot! me likey!

Niyi is a fashion student at parson's, i love his style, the tuxedo jacket on the left is genius- the row of buttons on the cuff ?! i want that jacket! -on the right i love the bold purple tie with the dress shirt and the shoes, very interesting how he put it all it.

There is noone who loves fashion more than my handsome uzoma! love the picture on the left - ridiculously cool! -on the right - love the shoes! and the belt!

Micheal -(look out for the apprentice in Africa)-is sooo GQ in the left picture, smouldering lol - he always looks great! love it!

Sigh* I love it! kevin looks great! where do i start? tell me!

The fit is so important and Ike is proving it! he looks great in this suit! - the tie is polka dotted, and the pink pocket square is a great touch!..i am a believer!

Chiedu is looking great in his gray suit (remember i love gray!) and a very light green dress shirt and the tie is awesome! - on the right i love the sorta casual feel to a very dressed up look! love it!

Sigh* Kelechi Odu, NY socialite and fashion designer is always impeccably dressed and he is such a hunk! Love it!


Can you guys guess who isnt nigerian on the list? its pretty easy.

Plus dont you it! Fine boys + Fine clothes = How life should be- all the ladies join me and say Amen!.