Thursday, November 15, 2007

RANDOM 2.14AM RANT

You know what? I dont like oyinbo people. Because the truth is, I dont trust any of them and I just think they are a patronizing bunch of idiots.
Scene 1
Us standing outside, trying to get a cab (in NY city...another cab story later). A bunch of oyinbo people pull up at the stop light (just incase any of my oyinbo *friends* read this blog one day..). The guy starts yelling something about backseat drivers.
Blank stare. Its freezing, we are in high heels and light jackets and not in the mood for this stupid behavior.
Guy tries to engage us again. Yeah, the thing about backseat drivers yadiyadiyada...
Blank Stare.
"CHARLIE MURPHY!!!!!" and they all start laughing and drive off.

??????

Does the color of my skin stamp a "fool" on my forehead or something. Am i supposed to smile because you say the name of a black man to me, either 1. amused that you know the name of a black person (like ure not freaking living in this country, WHY do people always find it amusing when oyinbos know a piece of black trivia like theyre not meant to know???) or 2. supposed to crack a smile and be like yeaaaaaaaaaah hes down!!!!!

Scenario 2.
My friends and I catchin a cab to go home to our seperate, ON THE WAY destinations
To cab driver: We're goin to X first, then Y next then Z
Cab driver: NO no im making only ONE stop
Us: HUH?! we all live in different places, and its not like one is in brooklyn and the other one is in queens, its all in manhattan and its on the way
Cab driver: no, only makin one stop
Us, beginning to get heated, like ok then we need to catch another cab
Cab driver: See why we dont like picking "YOU GUYS" up.
*crickets*
Nuff said

Seriously.

I watch MTV, i watch VH1, whether or not i am interested in an actor, the music, the show, the anything, i ALWAYS know who people are because i know what is goin on in the world around me. Yet there will be some oyinbo woman or man who has no idea who Pdiddy is, and yes i do think that is ridiculous, how can u be so immersed in your own race that you have no idea who other people are or even something simple as WEAVE. OKAY, now why dont they ever realize that people wear weaves? Im sorry but in this day and age, you cannot be that stupid to seriously ask me "Oh my God your hairs grown, how did it grow so fast?". They are so UNINTERESTED in other races that they have NO IDEA what goes on.

WHY OH WHY do oyinbo people like to tell me if some hip hop song is their favorite song or they know it or something. My roomates only listen to oyinbo music i have never heard of, yet on my birthday they had to play "Go shawty, its your birthday" 50 cent for me..WHY i dont even like 50 cent!!!!!!!!

WHy are oyinbo girls automatically finer than black girls, NO MATTER WHAT...its such a shame that black girls seem to have the shorter end of the stick cos apparently now ure cool as a black boy if you only kick it with foreign chicks. How can i go to a lounge (okay its NY we're talkin about they are crazy here) and theyll say we're only letting 6 in! to a group of black chicks, lol, is that the quota for the night or what?

Im sick and tired of being a "token", my friends and i the only black chicks in the spot, the only black intern, one of the 5 blacks in school, its just so annoying cos poeple are SO patronizing. When a hip hop song comes up in a club and some stupid blonde girl tells you to show her the dance...LOL thats when i begin to fight you know white chicks scare easy!

Someone needs to tell me where the black proffesionals party at, cos im sick of going to these stupid "premiere" lounges, where the bouncer thinks hes doing you a favor by letting you in and some stupid oyinbos want you to come and be the token blacks on their table or something!!!!!

But lastly I have to tell you about a plane ride that i will never forget when i ended up getting sat in between some 2 blonde middle aged women, one who was a dermatologist and the other who kept tryin to feed me.
She grabs my hair (my silky long black weave)
"Wow!! how do you get your hair to be like that? My daughter spends ageeees straightening her hair, you black people are so lucky you always have long bone straight hair" Me: er, okay, take your hand out of my locks please before you pull one out.
Next, she pulls out a picture of her daughter and proceeds to tell me how beautiful and popular her daughter is and bla bla.
Okay.
Next. "wow, you know the one thing i admire about black people? Your skin!! i always say i can never tell a black womans age you know. You guys have such great skin, white people age too quickly." Okay, em, thanks.
.."Did you watch the oscars? yes there was some rap group that performed there, i was really shocked at the oscars i dont really like that kind of music..what is it called? pop pop? hip pop? Wow, if i were black i wouldnt want those people representing my race!! and they won an oscar too. Singing something about a pimp or the other" I guess this is when 36 mafia won their oscar. Yes ma'am.
" haha you know whats funny? My niece just recently got married to a black man!!! yes i remember she cried and cried because she wasnt sure how her baby was going to look, and she wanted her little girl to have blue eyes. I laughed and told her not to be silly. How was her baby going to have blue eyes?? I wasnt even sure how light the baby was going to be, why her husband was as DARK AS YOU!!" Oh no! shock shock horror! My eyes remained widened for most of the flight, and if i got on that flight with any illusions, by the time that plane landed if i wasnt sure about anything in my life, i knew one thing for a fact:
NIGGA YOUZ BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

Nigerican said...

That's deep stuff hun. They wud have had to deplane me for bitch slappin that lady. U should have told her u where marrying a man as pale as her and didn't want u're baby comin out with those hedious blue eyes and heaven forbid it has her loooong nose.

I'm not racist but ish like this makes me mad.

bhookey said...

wow, im sorry but i just cant be arsed bout white ppl mehn....not racist but ill rather hang with my kind, i feel for u tho, i woulda bitch slapped the both of them, how rude!

IntellectualDiva said...

I can put up with some level of ignorance, to be frank. But I'll also take certain opportunities to educate folks. Honestly, white people are VERY uninterested in other races. They see every other culture as another 'interesting' news article or fascinating poetry, etc. It's a shame though because we black people and other colors embrace the western culture and sort of deny ours. If we also acted like theirs was a crap load of nothings, I think they'd chill seriously.
I like to treat white folks like, 'You're not that relevant, frankly speaking'.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

I hope you don't think oyinbo women are finer. I think maybe you were saying that society sees them that way. I must say that I like how your eyes are open to prejuiduce. I had my own Oyinbo run in recently.

Cranberry said...

please YES it is society that sees them that way! i definitely do not think they are finer!

@ intellectual diva LOL, thats a great way to look at things!

Thanks for your comments guys!!

SouLBoutiQue said...

I say it all the time, i think Oyinbo's are dafe individuals across the board! And now that i am in Jand, they irk my nerves even more. I mean how can Africans be so cultured about almost everything yet oyinbo's are so clueless when it comes to other races and/or cultures. Do you know how many times i have to say my name. then they say oh is that African? Yes. But you have an American Accent. and i just think in my head 'omo these oyinbo's in Jand are some of the dafest ppl i've met. and across the board i don't like them at all as a group (i'm not racist). once i get to know you individually..then maybe. but as a whole...NOPE!

ps. you did better than me because i would have told that Oyinbo woman off on the plane! I do not like ignorance and that is what i would have called her an incompetent, biased, uncultured fool! and told her she should be ashamed of her comments...na wa. we have suffered.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

"yet oyinbo's are so clueless when it comes to other races and/or cultures."
Soulboutique

I could not have said it better myself.

Anonymous said...

Its funny I came across this article today, if I start, I promise you, I will not finish! My reply to those bigots.... I'm still kicking your ass in your own country. Enough said!