Anyhoozy! i am about to drop like 5 blogs in a row (if i can), so much has been going on and at the same time SO LITTLE!!
Let me start with "THE PROBLEM"Face of Depression.
The question is, who asked me to go to dental school??? talk about my ass being KICKED!!, i always thought i was very clever (little did i know lol), my undergrad yrs could be summarized as thus, go to school, sleep in class, come home and watch endless tv, then the sunday before the exam pull an all nighter and ace the exam...but damn ....this school?..... TWO WEEKS does not even prepare you!.... i have spent nights wondering if i am in the right program? wondering if i am a dunce?! wondering why the hell its so hard to get a friggin A in some classes!! Like in Anatomy its like you are hoping to pass, i mean B, C, who cares, just give me a Pass ...i mean you spend HRS upon HRS studying like crazzzy, till you dream your work, till you are muttering, "CN 9 innervates .......", and everyone is looking at you like WTHELL?...and then get some mediocre reward for your efforts...its ridiculous....lemme give you an example, i took this quiz once in anatomy, and check this, we are like 89 students in my class, only 7 people passed it....????....are you serious?!....we are talking PASSED IT with a C!....its not a game peoples!...they are trying to injure me, and honestly i am sooooo hurt!...oh and i wasnt one of them...lol.
On the vain and shallow side, which i am famous for, I literally depress myself looking in the mirror (not that im that hot in the first place (Disclaimer for the haters) but lawd knows i look like ass these days - glasses, hair uncombed for a weeks on end, i practically sleep and go to class (which starts at 8 AM EVERYDAY!) in my pony tail :(.... To honestly tell you the truth, I have just accepted that i am CRAZY for entering this school, i mean talk about feeling like a fish out of water, i swear people there is nothing worse than taking time off school cus when you get back in, its like WHAT THE FUCK?! (excuse my french, i swear a whole lot more since i entered this school).....BUT, its getting betttter i guess, its a very cool career...and you get paid.. ALOT...and i must have the lifestyle i desire...so God should please just help me abeg cus the pressure is ridiculous! you get sooooo down and depressed and tired and thankfully this week is very free for me which is why i am on here blogging lol!....
I often feel like i have two lives, The Doreen of yore (GAWD I MISS HER!!) and the Doreen i am now ( i hope i dont sound crazy, talking in third person lol)....and like its hard to live both lives, to go to new york for cranberry business during the weekend and then go to class at 8am on monday to cut up some dead body in the laboratory.
All these cranberry related opportunities come around, and you have to postpone em all, cus you just cant make it!.....
I have every intention of living a double life because.. honey, these are my young yrs damnit, i have to be me!...while i still can....before i am too old to act the fool lol.....but for now though... i need to be done with my first semester already! AH AH!
WHEW*** now that i am done bitching! i can blog about funner things like what else has been happening on the side!...ill be back with pictures and things! stay tuned!!!!